(As published in Dazed and Confused)

Once a humble workhorse, the ute (utility vehicle) has since evolved into an obsession which culminates each September when the town of Deniliquin (“Deni”) in South-East NSW hosts The Play on the Plains Festival and World Record Ute Muster.  Chucking on what is fondly referred to as the ‘wife-beater’ (a blue singlet) and jumping into their utes, the eighth year of the festival saw town and rural folk alike converge to partake in one of the biggest cultural events this side of the equator.

The common stories of people spending thousands of dollars and travelling from as far as Broom demonstrate the festival’s widespread appeal and popularity. “Everyone gets very excited and there’s a big countdown” says Ellen, 16, who has attended every Ute Muster. “Everyone who’s crazy about their utes come here so they can meet with other like-minded people”.

This year’s World Record was a unique spectacle; 6,211 utes rolling in bumper-to-bumper, in a never-ending procession of V8 engines driven by people consumed with ute muster fever, hell-bent on breaking the record, and having a good time.    There’s no denying it, at Deni, they love their utes.   This message was made abundantly clear in the bumper sticks which proudly adorned their utes: Boy + Ute = Man , and Man + Ute = Legend.

Besides paying homage to all things ute, the festival also celebrated the Australian spirit of competition; there was The Bonds Singlet Count (another World Record at 1,566 people wearing singlets), the Mo of the Muster, The Holden Grunt-Off (where groups of five people pulled a ute as quickly as possible over 40 metres), Roo’d, the unbelievable sight of kangaroos bouncing on stilts and the Best Chick’s Ute.

So how do the women feel about being referred to as ‘chicks’? “It’s a bit dumb for me but it’s fine”, replied one female entrant. “My kids love the fact that their mum drives a ute, I’m an old rev head at heart”.   However there are others in the competition who believe that women should be given more recognition.  When “Red” (real name Alison McDiarmid) went to register her “hopper knocker (ute with a front bull-bar) in the competition, they asked her whether she wanted to purchase a tee shirt for her little girl which read My Dad Drives a Ute, she responded with “Where’s the one that says My Mum Drives a Ute“?  Despite her criticism of the largely male-dominated event, Red loves being part of the atmosphere; she reckons it’s the best thing about the festival.   When asked to explain further, she simply said “…cos there’s no mucking around, there’s just no bullshit.”

Predictably, amongst the sea of 18,000 ute aficionados, there were also hoards of drunks swaggering around with flushed cheeks induced from too much Bundy and coke, slurring the charming invite to have a “root in the back of me ute”. Ah yes, the Aussies have always had a knack for honouring the aged-old tradition of getting shit-faced but at the Deni Ute Muster, these drunks could actually embrace the stereotype and get away with it.  As one visitor remarked, they’re “feral but friendly !”